That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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