Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize