Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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