obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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