I'm jealous of your bromance
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
