I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
