No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm like, not good at living.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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