He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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