Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize