I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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