so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
