Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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