This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
