he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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