i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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