Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I skipped work to stalk him.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize