At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize