I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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