If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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