I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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