Nicole vs. Life
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize
