so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Randomize
