You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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