i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
