We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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