you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
