how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
