Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
