YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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