They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The struggles of a small town man whore
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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