it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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