just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
where are my eyebrows?
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