are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize