He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
