It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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