when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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