so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
