$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
