My liver just broke up with me...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
