Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize