did you get engaged???
accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
