I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize