they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
