Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
