So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
