How'd it feel making her break her religion?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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