So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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