and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
