a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
