So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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