i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
