I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
