Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
