so that wasnt chicken after all
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
