If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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