And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
