But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Duck Duck Cougar?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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