do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sex in a hospital.. check
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
